Have newborn-will travel

making the boy smile

cousin Hannah loving on Reagan

grandma and her Sammy

one word - "adorable"

grammy and pappoo

The night before I left Reagan slept the longest night

Emily, Tammy, me, Reagan

grandma Riesterer, Sammy, Reagan, me and Mom "B"



Meeting Reagan for the first time

It's been a few weeks since I got back from my trip. Taking Reagan to California was a last minute decision. I must say I probably won't do something so drastic again. Don't get me wrong, it was a great visit- Reagan did wonderful on the plane, there were no flight delays, and seeing my in-laws was a treat. But, I really missed my "other" boys. I was constantly feeling like I had forgotten something and I truly missed Brian being there to help me on the plane. Reagan's first big travel adventure. The other two went on theirs at two months, so it was only fitting to keep up the trend. He and I had wonderful bonding time and he was so good for me while we traveled, I kept thanking him and loving on him for being such a good boy.

Once we arrived to San Francisco, Brian's dad was waiting for us and we made the trek home. Clare had a nice welcome dinner with Aunt Jan, Uncle Ron and Aunt Pidge. The warm welcome was just what I needed after my exhausting day. The next day, we took a road trip to Merced to see Brian's brother Kevin and Tammy and girls. That is always a fun visit and always too short. We miss them all so much. The girls loved Reagan to pieces and another great dinner was had. The next morning, after yummy blueberry muffins we headed back, just in time to see Stephanie and Shadd and celebrate River's 2nd birthday. We enjoyed the best grilled cheese sandwiches, I had ever had and of course Ben & Jerry's. Sunday was more a relaxed day. Still not having much sleep, b/c Reagan was on a different time schedule I decided to walk the mall. And, spent the day hanging out preparing to head back the next morning, bright and early. Reagan gave everyone his best smile and seemed to tag along well. Everyone was so thrilled to meet him and many memories were treasured. Especially, our visit to see great grandma Riesterer. She has 40 or 50 great grand kids, I think but to see her light up meeting a new one, was quite endearing.

Boys will be boys

Posing his stout little self

Daniel's balancing act

David eating icicles

Munching on the "icicles"

January proved to be an extremely cold one for us "Floridians". And, not to mention busy. Hence, I am just now acknowledging it going into the first week of February. Aw, the love month. I really enjoy kisses and valentines, being sweet on my sweetie. Oh, but back to January. Yes, cold it was- difficult for a mom with three, one of which isn't heavier than a sack of potatoes. David and Daniel still needed their "unleashing", 30 degree weather or not those boys need to be outside. So, trying to stay warm was futile but we managed and I got good at keeping track of them from the couch where I spend many hours a day nourishing my little sack of potatoes.
Brian even"made" icicles for them and they loved it. Every morning they would run to the door to check if there were any frozen spears hanging from our tree. What a delight for them! All they wanted to do was eat them and thought it was funny when they starting melting on their head.

As their day progresses, I hear stories of how they are going on an adventure. This entails pushing their dump trucks out in the clearing , back in the woods- "we're going to the airport" they say, headed for "California". I guess that's how they connect to their grammy and papoo and cousins. Anyone going on a plane is bound for California. Or, their "adventure" might be marching through the daddy-made trails, searching for bears. Regardless of how the outdoor adventure starts out, it usually involves lots of dirt or recently because of all of the rain, lots of mud. As frustrating and exhausting as it can be, there is nothing more endearing than my little boys with mud covering them from head-to-toe- evidence of their passion at heart.

Daniel takes delight in aggravating David, taking his toys when he's not looking or sitting to close while watching a movie. He loves his big brother, hanging on his every word and repeating everything he says- just like it was his idea. Reagan is fitting in nicely. He just goes with the flow. Smiling, and cooing; blowing bubbles, with eyes just a sparkingly. David and Daniel have great big plans for teaching him all about trucks, trains and mud. Lord, help me!

Two months and counting

Reagan, you are two months old. It has been an exciting time with you so far.

Mommy is very tired most days, but each day is getting a little better. You still wake up a few times at night to eat and typically like sleeping in your bouncy seat or in an upright position. You are a very gasey baby, just like your brothers were. I try to watch what I eat, but it doesn't seem to matter so we manage the best we can- you are going in to get weighed in a few days but mommy thinks you are growing well because you eat every 2-3 hrs. most days and when you are growing it is difficult to keep up with feeding you. And you are going through your diapers like crazy. This past week has been fun because you started smiling- not the gasey smile but with your eyes lighting up and a big 'ole grin on your face. You are looking at me right now with those big blue eyes. BLUE EYES! Can you believe it, where did they come from. I am so happy that you have blue eyes like me. You are starting to sleep better, (note pics) and mommy tries to keep you comfortable in most any place. You make a lot of noises in your sleep and wake yourself up when your hands move, so mommy still swaddles them down although you break out most of the time.

Your brothers David and Daniel want you to play trains with them and love to share their toys with you. David has been telling you he loves you everyday and they both kiss you often. You are a great shopper with mommy so far and ride in the car very well. You seem to like it a lot. Unfortunately, it has been extremely cold so most days we can't go outside. But, when it warms up I can't wait to take you outside and show you the birds and the trees and new sounds and feel the warm sunshine on your face. I am sure your blue eyes will look even more beautiful under the sun.

Happy New Year ( and all that jazz)

"I got Gordon!!!"

"James!!!"

Thank Heaven for play tents (it was raining all day)

Santa brought a cool cement mixer

Thanks Santa for the garbage truck

Another year has come and gone. Unbelievable. The anticipation of Christmas has now left a mellow, downer kind of feeling. I even noticed it in church last Sunday. The mood seemed exhausted, slow , almost depressed. What's that all about? I guess it's hard because all of us probably anticipate Christmas, in some way. Looking back, when I was little, I would keep my head covered while I sweat to death; afraid that Santa would know I was still awake. Ever year I would get a new baby doll and dreamed of being a mommy, taking my "baby" everywhere- (at least wherever a bike would take you). Now, being much older and a mom, I am evaluting the spirit of Christmas more and more. I would be lying if I said I didn't like receiving presents, but gradually I have found that receiving is less and less fulfilling. The highlight of my season was enjoying the lights on our tree and experiencing the "magic" with the boys. I felt more peace this year as I looked harder at the miraculous story of Jesus' birth and what it all means to me. It is easy, year after year to not pay attention or appreciate the magnitude of how our King came to earth and eventually saved me by his death on the cross. It is truly something to dwell upon. It is tricky now that I am a parent. How do you teach the true meaning of Christmas and yet allow your kids to enjoy the temporary perks of the "holiday". You have to address the Santa thing, they see him all over the place and hear about him from other children. So, deciding how to handle it is something to consider. Do you want to spoil the fun so soon as a child or let them have fun and trust the true meaning will penetrate through the other fluff. It just seems weird to me building up the anctipation of Santa coming, leaving him cookies, looking for reindeer ( which is all fun) and yet teaching the story of Jesus, our Saviour being born all in the same breath. I guess for us adults it seems confusing, because we compartmentalize- thankfully children don't do that. They take it all in and gratefully it all just works out.

This year, things were hectic because of Reagan in the mix, but grateful we were and it was nice to have time off from work even if I spent most of the time at home and missing some of the festivities going on. My parents came up Christmas day and we had a good day visiting and eating, while the kids tore up the house with their new play tent. It was another rainy day but thankfully cleared up at day's end.

2010. How do you say that? Twenty ten or Two thousand and ten? I didn't really think about it until I heard someone else ask the question. The comment was Twenty ten, sounds 'futuristic'. Personally, I like Two thousand and ten but I also still write checks and send mail via the post office. It can seem daunting coming up with new year resolutions, especially when I realize that I didn't keep the ones I made last year or I never had one. I decided this year I would make a few and stick to them. Not really resolutions but "improvements". I not only want to resolve some things from the past year but I want to become more than I was last year.

#1 Love the Lord my God with all of my heart, soul and strength.

Pray that this will be evident in my words and actions.

#2 Love my husband better.

He puts up with my shortcomings but he definitely deserves more.

#3 Get in shape. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

#4 Stop using credit cards. Only use cash or save until I have the money I need.

#5 Be a blessing to someone everyday. Even if it's a few minutes or something small.

#6 Limit my chores so I appreciate my children more with my time.

#7 Be content. Love what I have. We all have too much stuff anyway.

#8 Listen more.

#9 Guard my mouth.

#10 Spend time with my Bible everyday.

I could probably come up with a million "improvements" but I think I'll start with these. Hopefully, when 2011 comes I can see how far I've come in all of these areas but most of all I will be more Christ like.

My new addiction.

"peace love happiness"

David "helping" daddy make sure the tree is straight

David had a big job this year- putting the star on top!

And who wouldn't love a little Daniel "craziness".

this is his big boy move,or so he says.

As I pulled off the highway, onto Archer Rd. and came to a screaching halt. I sat and watched car after car go by and then come to a stand still across three lanes. I felt a sense of excitement and relief. I had just realized that I didn't have to be one of these halted cars, packed across lanes and lanes of busy traffic. Once I purchased my goods from Publix, I was headed home, away from the chaos. I WAS DONE WITH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! ahhhhh, what a good feeling it was.

For the first year ever, I am not up til the last minute, standing in lines and feeling panicked to find the perfect gift. How could this be? Was I superwoman? No. I have discovered online shopping. I have been a critic in the past and felt it was too impersonal and tacky. But, because of my circumstances this year, I realized there wasn't any way to accomplish gift buying ( and staying sane) unless I changed my ways. I am hooked, however, as I realized with a click of a button my purchases were being processed, wrapped and on their way. Thank you UPS! No crowds, no lines, no fighting for space, or with my kids, and better yet free shipping (mostly). Since gifts is one of my love languages, for those who know Chapman's book, 'The Five Love Languages'; I generally get heart palpitations and feelings of glee as I shop the sales and hit the stores buying gifts for others. I love to buy things for people, for myself too but really it is so much easier ( and fun) to get things for others. I do enjoy receiving gifts as many also do, but finding that perfect gift can be such a challenge. It has been a disappointment since the arrival and maintenance of 3 little boys that my gift giving and shopping has diminished. I truly desire to be in the trenches, touch the merchandise, browse TJ Maxx (can you feel your heart racing?) but I have come to the conclusion that my days of browsing and "going" are over or at least limited for awhile. The good news is: I save a lot of money, my kids are happier at the play area in the mall, and I am more decisive when I do get to shop because the attention span of a 3 1/2 year old is about 3 minutes. That's a good thing. So, for those that are receiving gifts from me this year, please know that my heart did go into it and I enjoyed shopping for you but for those who won't be getting a gift, please know that my heart yearned to buy you something and one day I'll make it up to you.

A month old!- can you believe it?

Reagan likes bath time

David sharing his trains- what a great big brother

" Sleeping like a baby"

Taking turns holding little brother

Too cute for words!

Reagan is a month old today. Wow! Not only does it seem like it's gone by quick, but I am starting to realize my days of "maternity leave" are also going by quick. Oh well. My new year's resolution is to BE PEACEFUL and I am already striving to accomplish my goal, even before the new year has begun. Taking for granted David and Daniel, I found myself wrapped up like a stress ball. I was always trying to accomplish too much, or getting frustrated when their need took precedence over my desire or want. Now, I am still a ball of stress but I am aware of my selfish tendencies and "craving peace". Joyce Meyer did a great job grilling this into my head yesterday, as I listened to her speak on this and I am encouraged that it is mine for the taking, as long as I ask and follow the instruction of the Lord and CRAVE IT!

The first month, or actually the first 3 weeks at home have been better than I had expected. Reagan is a good baby, sweet as can be and eating like a champ. In the past, I faced many struggles with breastfeeding so I have been pleasantly surprised and thankful that it is going well this time, so far. His 2 week checkup last week was evidence of God's grace- he weighed 7# 15oz which means he has gained about 1oz/day.....more than enough. Yahoo!

He has already been to church once and on a car trip to grandma and papa stalnaker's for Thanksgiving. He is a very good travel companion, hardly ever crying when he's in his car seat and he likes to take his big brothers to school......he knows then he has mommy all to himself. He doesn't like a pacifier unless it's a crucial moment and he sleeps well, eating about every 3 hrs. He loves to sleep on his belly but would rather be held every moment of the day, if possible. That's o.k. though because I love to hold him and cuddle, which is where I am off to now.

Grammy B came to visit and help

HERE I AM! PRECIOUS AND NEW

Reagan Nehemiah, our new little addition to the family. Welcome to the world, little man. Your arrival was fast and furious and to my dismay, unplanned. God has been doing a number on me lately, with little reminders of his sovereignty and then you coming along, like you did, was a big reminder. O.k. God, I get it- I relinquish my control.

The drama ensued with me waking up at 2am with a terrible pain and a little "pop" (hmmm.....did my water break?) As I tried to make my way to the bathroom, I was conflicted with the realization that it could be happening like this. So quick? The contractions only minutes apart? Do I really need to push? As I woke up your daddy (3times) I could barely move or talk and the calm approach I thought I'd have, after being in labor twice before and knowing how to do it, went out the window. I was panicked. And worried. How was my uterus holding up. Would we make it? Oh and by the way- I wasn't supposed to do this labor thing again!!! Ugh. I can remember griping about this as I made my way to the car. Thankfully, your daddy had been through this before and knocked the sense into me, driving 95 miles/hr getting me to the hospital in the nick of time. Having connections, one of my co-workers was waiting for me at the curb with a wheelchair and whisked me to labor and delivery. My awesome pals and co-workers moved swiftly and you graced us with your presence 45 min. later, by cesarean. Your daddy made the call, "IT'S A BOY!" and our hearts were moved once more as we welcomed another life into our family.

From the moment you arrived, you have been such a gift. As you were handed to me in the delivery room, your sweet smell was implanted in my memory. You were a true example of innocence and purity, and you were ours. The realization at that moment, that your every need depends on me and your daddy is profound and humbling. You and I got to spend a few hours together before you were reevaluated in the nursery. Unfortunately, you weren't feeling well and you had to be transferred to the NICU for treatment of infection and rapid breathing. I felt a great disappointment b/c I knew the course of treatment would be at least a few days and that you probably would have to be away from me most of the time.

The first few days at the hospital were spent trying to rest in between frequent visits to the NICU, to see you. You were receiving iv fluids, so you weren't that hungry but I tried to nurse you when possible. Managing on limited amount of sleep and being sore, made it difficult to cope at times. But, you had really good nurses taking care of you and they encouraged me along the way. I was also very blessed to be able to stay with you all week, while you stayed and completed your antibiotics. Once I was discharged on Tues. I stayed with you all day and went home to see your brothers for dinner and bedtime, and then I made it back in time to feed you and sleep with you all night. There was a room with a cot available for such a need. The week became very long with traveling back and forth and I missed your daddy and brothers. But, daddy helped keep me going and did a great job taking care of things at the house. Grandma and Papa Stalnaker came to visit you the first day and helped at the house too.

Each day you did a little better. Your breathing slowed down, you usually pulled your tube off your face that was supposed to give you oxygen; and you started getting hungry. After Tues. you were moved to the NICU 2 and basically hanging out like a "normal" baby. Spending time with you in the unit gave me a new perspective and greater appreciation for families that had babies that had to stay long term. I saw many moms that I recognized as previous patients and realized that their baby had spent a long time at the hospital already. Many families appeared to have been "visitors" for many months. Their child too big for a bassinet and now moved to a bigger crib with activity toys and all, was a true picture of how long they had been there. I empathized with them, especially knowing that you were coming home in a week. I reminded myself everyday as I watched others to be very, very thankful.

We made it through your first week of life. Not as expected, but blessed even still. You successfully completed your antibiotic regimen and Sat. morning you were officially discharged. I could barely wait to get you in the car. I wanted to have you in the comfort of our home and spend time with your daddy and brothers. Unconventionally, you and I left together, no daddy or wheelchair and entourage at our side- just you and me. It was a strange departure, yet glorious and I said to you, 'here we go baby, just you and me'. You slept peacefully the whole way home on your first car ride.